2:53 PM - Friday, Nov. 18, 2005
Fears Friday 2
Here I am�another Fears Friday is at hand. I�m not feeling particularly fearful today so I think I�ll talk about a fear that I used to have.
I have always feared being alone. Not in the literal sense, because I enjoy my own company tremendously and need quite a bit of ME time to be happy. To be alone in the world with no companion, no one to count on�that was my biggest fear. So in essence, I�ve been afraid my whole life because somehow I�ve always ended up �alone� and had to take care of myself. Now, I don�t know if it�s age or experience or just finally being in a healthy relationship�who knows. But I don�t worry about that anymore. I�ve finally realized in my heart, not just in my head, that the only person in this world that I can count on is myself---at least 100% count on. Greg, my friends, my family, they always try, but sometimes they aren�t capable of giving me exactly what I need. It�s those times that I have to reach within myself and care for myself. It�s something I�ve always done instinctually. How else could I have survived the things I have without turning into a bitter bitch? Instead, I�m a total sweetheart and only a bitch to those who deserve it. ;) Lately I�ve been more conscious about caring for myself and whoa, have I been a happier gal for doing it! All my relationships have improved�it�s divine! I am starting to see what�s been there all along. I AM a strong woman! Not only will I survive whatever life throws at me�I will thrive!
A little TV tidbit�
Anybody else watch ER? Well if you don�t just ignore all this, I need to vent.
I am so damn pissed at Luka! He was, at last, blessedly rid of Sam and her annoying kid�I was so relieved. Then he and Abby hooked back up�I was thrilled! Now he just wants to stay friends.
Damn you Luka!! Sam is a dead weight that will only drag you down!! Abby is the one for you!!
Whew. I feel better now.
I had a nice lunch with Natalie today. She got a to-go cup for her tea and I thought, good idea---make that two! Well I realized when I got back to my desk after she dropped me off...I left my damn tea on the table in the restraunt. Ugh. Now I'm sitting here glaring at my water...thinking longingly of my tea. :(
I got my new Nora Roberts book, Northern Lights, in today! Cool! Now I've just got to finish the one I'm reading now, London Bridges by James Patterson, so I can start it.
