-
quotes
My Favorite/Meaningful/Notable Quotes
"Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."--Rumi
"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."--Pope Paul VI
"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"When a marriage goes sour, husband and wife are not the only ones to suffer--the children do too. In a study I conducted of sixty-three preschoolers, those being raised in homes where there was great marital hostility had chronically elevated levels of stress hormones compared with the other children studied. We don't know what the long term repercussions of this stress will be for their health. But we do know thtaa this biological indication of extreme stress was echoed in their behavior. We followed them through age fifteen and found that, compared with other children their age, these kids suffered far more from truancy,depression,peer rejection,behavioral problems(especially aggression),low achievement at school, and even school failure.
One important message of these findings is that it is not wise to stay in a bad marriage for the sake of the children. It is clearly harmful to raise kids in a home that is subsumed by hostility between parents. A peacful divorce is better than a warlike marriage. Unfortunately,l divorces are rarely peaceful. The mutual hositility between the parents usually continues after the breakup. For that reason, children of divorce often fare just as poorly as those caught in the crossfire of a miserable marriage." --John Gottman, Ph.D.
"We NEVER "did not want the kids" or "did not want to be parents". We loved them and wanted nothing more than to "parent" them, but that was not an option we had. Our option was to "coparent" with his ex wife and her new husband. This situation was not healthy for the kids due to the hostile relationship between all family members involved in coparenting. And hate it as she may, I was their stepmother and a part of the coparenting picture just as her husband was. That fact was refused and denied to the point where we could not function as productive parents to the kids. So we sacrificed our hearts and did the only thing we could to ensure that the kids not be subjected to the hatred and outbursts prone to all parties--- the 2 parents who made them and the 2 parents who choose them. We allowed the adoption,with the agreement of continued contact, to give the kids the chance to have a simple, normal life that would not have been possible given the circumstances they'd been drug into. I realize that everyone is not capable of forgiveness and that fact saddens me so, for hatred drags down even the most loving heart. Anger was certainly justified,certain behaviors were not. That environment was not going to get better. The kids deserved a better life than that."--Lisa Wilson
