6:10 PM - Monday, Aug. 21, 2006
Too Happy
What to do with one�s self when said self is upsurdly happy? I don�t really know. It�s not a problem I�ve been faced with too very often in my life. For the most part it�s frightening. I keep waiting for the bomb to drop�for the bubble to burst�for my regular ol� crappy luck to rear it�s ugly head. Why can�t I just bask in it and relax? I guess it�s just not in my nature to do so. Too much life experience has jaded me somewhat. I still enjoy myself�there is just always a part of me that worries about what may be waiting around the corner. Could it have something to do with the fact that we still have not heard from the ex yet? That probably is a chunk of it, but isn�t it always, lol? We contacted her quite a while ago about resuming contact so L&H could know our baby. It�s such an important thing we had to make the effort and try even though it was a long shot. So it�s not that I�m worried over their answer, it�s just that we don�t have an answer yet and that is beyond irritating. I hate loose ends and being left hanging. Greg feels like their lack of response thus far can only be a bad sign. He may be right, but I�m not going to assume, I�ll just keep checking the mailbox irritably, lol. Anyway, other than that little thorn in my side, life couldn�t be much better right now. At our last ultrasound we were told again that they think it�s a GIRL! I couldn�t make out squat on that screen unless it was her feet, but Greg said he could see the female parts when the tech pointed them out. Shelby Brooke is on her way! I�m so thrilled I can hardly stand it. She already has her closet brimming with darling little pink outfits. As of the doctor visit, her growth was right on track, as was mine. My belly is obviously preggo now. I�ve gained 5 pound so far. With only 4 weeks of my second trimester left to go, I�m happy with that. Greg is completely smitten with the whole thing. The more I start to show the happier he is. He adores my body right now. It�s not too surprising since the boobies are fuller but he adores my belly most of all. He�s constantly touching it. He rubs lotion on it every night when he puts me to bed before he leaves for work. He talks to Shelby and sings her silly little songs. He tells me I�m glowing. I don�t think so, but it�s sweet of him to say, lol. Now HE is glowing. His mood in general is just happy and I�ll catch him looking at my belly with a little grin on his face. How can it be possible to fall even deeper in love with someone you already love so very much? I never thought it was possible but damn, it is happening. Little Shelby weighs about a pound now and is an active little gal. I feel kicks and flutters many times a day now and it�s just awesome. To add to our little happy picture we got some wonderful news last week. Greg got a position on first shift! We are so happy about that. It�s been over 3 years since he�s had a �normal� work schedule. He won�t be starting till later in the year but that�s fine, what�s a few more months? Next year is going to be so wonderful. We�ll have our little Shelby to hold and love, Greg will be on regular hours again, and I�ll be a stay at home Mommy. I just can�t wait!
**For those of you close to me, you may be wondering about the giant omission in this entry. I just don't want to talk about it here.**
